October 17th, 2007


Greed, Hate, Envy

 Right, new journal, and about time to post a real entry. I used to have another LJ account, but decided to start again because i didn't feel comfortable pouring my heart out when i knew most of my LJ friends. So i'm starting again - so i can do just that - pour my heart out.
 I realise this is boring for most people, but i need an outlet. I used to keep a diary but now i just can't be bothered to write out the words in my mind -no - it's more like the pen can't keep up with my mind - it feels easier to type it.

 So, where do i begin? I guess there is no need to write out a back story, i'm sure that will come out in posts to come. I'll just start from now..

 I woke up in a reasonably good mood today (shock horror!). I had an audition yesterday, and it was probably one of the worst journeys i've had to get to an audition. First of all the trains to London were delayed and/or cancelled so i had to get a slow train which took much much longer, luckily i had allowed myself an extra hour incase this sort of thing happened (oddly the first time i have ever done so, usually i'm running late). Then the underground is down due to emergency engineering works. I could have waited, but that freaked me out. I'm not good on the underground, being closed in underground, so i decided to get a cab. In the cab i was then faced with horrendous traffic (my guess being down to not only the time of day, when schools were finished, but also the problems on the trains and the underground.) I then had to get another train which i luckily caught just in time, followed by a 15 minute walk down a road full of pikeys. Oddly, i managed to get to the audition 10 minutes early. I rang my mum before i went in and said it felt like someone didn't want me to go to this audition, lol.

 I didn't have to wait long before i went in. Everyone was very friendly, i think i read okay, but i felt i could have done better - and that isn't my usual self doubt - i genuinely know i could have done better.

 I finally got back to my town about 7.30pm, and was waiting for a cab at the station and my phone starts ringing. It's my agent. weird. Turns out, my agent had gone out to pick up her little boy, when she got back home there was a message on the answerphone from the casting director i had seen that day. Apparently, the liked me and they wanted to offer me the part. This has never happened to me before - i mean, to get a call the same day, just a few hours after the audition! Crazy! I was ecstatic! It's not a huge part, only a guest role in a popular TV Show, but i felt i really connected with the character, and there was some fantastic writing there. I really wanted it - so i'm very happy!

 I went into work with my mum today, helping out with filing and what not - a way to earn money inbetween jobs. Mum's sooo stressed with work at the moment. I can honestly say i have never seen her this stressed, it's actually making her ill. And today i saw how uptight she was. She has the next couple of days off on leave, so hopefully she will be able to unwind and relax a bit, she needs to. It's difficult because she cares so damn much about her job and sometimes it's as if no one else does or no one else supports her. That's not through spite or anything like that, just the pure fact that some people look at the job in a different way to my mum.

 I got my new mobile phone today, finally, my old one had been driving me crazy, so that put a smile on my face. Now i just need to try and get all the numbers back.

Anyway that's it for now, i'll save all the emotionally draining bollocks for another day, right now, i think i'm gonna take my mind off things and make some more graphics and maybe find some meme's and quizzes - strange how such simple things can take your mind off such complicated things.
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